Scenester 101: How To Be A Modern Day Street Punk


Housewives is back with our latest addition of Scenester 101, your guide on how to be the a stereotype of your favorite scene! Are you an angry, upper middle class white kid in their teenage years who lives in the suburb? Fret not young buck, street punk is here to save you!

Up The Punx

First off, it’s punx not punks (because FUCK rules such as spelling and grammar), and you need to constantly talk about upping them. Why? If you don’t know you must be some sort of poser. You’ll get some extra scene points if you throw some oi’s in there too.

Accessorize

What do you and tween clothing stores such as Claire’s have in common (besides the fact you see it on the way out of Hot Topic)? ACCESSORIZE! Accessories lets others now just how punk rawk you actually are: lock necklaces, bullet belts, plenty of safety pins, the possibilities are endless (as long as they fit the strict punk fashion code).

Leather

Vegetarians? HA! That sounds like a rule, and you don’t do rules. But you do leather… lots of it. Leather jackets are a MUST (studding is optional… but if you don’t do it, at least put a Crass patch up there.)

Mohawks

I cannot stress this enough… punk rock is all about fashion. Forget the whole “thinking for yourself”, not giving a fuck, ignoring social trend things… you need to make a fashion statement on how unique you are, just like everybody else. We already went over accessories and leather, but a mohawk or liberty spikes are a must. Every true punk rocker spends hours on their hair, cramming it with Elmer’s glue to get those spikes and dying it weekly with Manic Panic. How are you going to start a revolution if you’re not looking punk?

Rebel

You don’t know shit about politics and you don’t want to learn either because it’s boring, but you know you want to rebel. Awesome! Just draw lots of Anarchy symbols on yourself or better yet buy anarchy patches and place them all over. Smash bottles in the street randomly just to show how much of a badass you are. FUCKING LITTER!

Conclusion:
The list could go on and on, but this is a good starting point. Remember friends, it’s all about looks, and make sure that you let everyone know you’re the biggest punk around by calling everyone else a poser.

MP3:
4 Past Midnight – Fuck Them All
The Unseen – Social Security
Adolf and the Piss Artists – Abrasive Punk
The Casualties – Get Off My Back
The Virus – Vicious Rumors
Action – Suicide Squad
Violent Society – I Wanna Know

More Scenester 101 Guides:
How To Be A 3rd Wave Ska Dork
How To Be A Skinhead
How To Be Hardcore

Buy:
Interpunk

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4 Comments

  1. Ha! Just the other day I was thinking to myself "I haven't called anyone a poser in a long time. Time to bring that back." True story.

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