Alright duders/dudettes, it’s been a while, but in our last Scenester 101, we taught you how to be a skinhead, but maybe you’re just too dorky for that. So this time around, we’ll teach you how to be a third waver ska rudie.
7. Rude Boy
Yeah yeah, I know Rihanna fucked up the term for the mainstream, but you must never let people call you “ska dork”, “ska nerd”, or “that fucking weird guy who tries to pick up girls 10 years younger than him”. No, you are a RUDE BOY! If you’re name is actually Rudy, that’s an instant 70 scene points. Also, try to convince your parents to bring you down to the courts to legally change your name to Rudy.
What if chessmaster Bobby Fischer resurrects as a zombie and comes to town? You’re going to want to calm him by wearing as much checkerboard patterns as possible. Ska kids like to say that it represents unity against racism, but really, they just miss their chess club days.
4. Operation Ivy Covers
Operation Ivy invented ska. Forget those Jamaican dudes in the 60s such as Desmond Dekker or Toots and the Maytals, Operation Ivy invented ska, and you must pay homage by requesting Operation Ivy songs to any ska band you see. If you are in a ska band, you are officially kicked out of ska unless you guys cover Operation Ivy. Nothing says original like covering the same songs that have been covered 2000 times.
3. Ska Band Names
If you start a ska band (you DO plan on starting a ska band, right?) the name is probably the most important thing. Forget the fact that you should probably practice so the 13 year olds you recruited from your local high school marching band doesn’t sound like complete shit, you should spend your entire time coming up with a really cool name.
Cool ska names are completely random or have a ska pun in them. So a name such as “Aunt Jamima’s Cell Phone Charger” is an ok ska name (just random), but if you change it to “Aunt Jamiska’s Cell Phone Charger” will instantly give you at least 53 scene points.
2. Pick It Up
This is your slogan, your life. You must yell pick it up at all times, no exceptions. Knock things out of strangers hands so you can tell them to pick it up (note: it should be said like this: “pickitup pickitup pickitup”) Also, throw in some maniacal laughter in there (“HA HA HA!”)
Skanking was a dance that originated back in the 60s when those Jamaican posers would dance to ska. What was originally a fluid, follow the beat of the music (booooooring) dance had been improved by the third wavers. Now, anyone can skank! All you have to do at a concert is open a pit, but instead of slamdancing, just starting running around in circles! You are now a skanking pro.
Mustard Plug – Aye Aye Aye
One Cool Guy – Skank The Night Away
Potshot – Radio
Big D and the Kids Table – Shining On
Spring Heeled Jack – Jolene
Less Than Jake – My Very Own Flag
The Impossibles – Plan B